Four Deaths

1st: CESSATION, sudden loss of a loved one by suicide or accidental death.

2nd: QUIETUS, loss of a loved one where the living had more time to prepare.

3rd: OMITTO, thoughts of suicide or the overwhelming desire to disappear.

4th: DESTRUDO, wishing someone would fly to the moon and never come back.

I am the unicorn; made in the image of my God. The white beach or white shores, as found in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, is a metaphor for death or life after death. Similarly symbolized, in the Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, when the elves travel by boat to distance lands to rest. The mountains are the House of the Lord. The sky is His divine glory, or rather, my perception of it based on my mental well-being at a given moment. The doves are a direct pull from scripture. When the Holy Ghost takes the form of a dove he is without a physical body just as the souls of the deceased have been separated from their bodies for a time. The flora in the foreground is life at present. The lace background is the Veil: that pinnacle where one passes from mortal to immortal. The arched triangle composition of the central narrative alludes to the Gothic arch and it’s purpose to draw the eye heavenward. It is all contained within a traditional, four 90 degree cornered frame that has been torched black representing mortality and the unavoidable hurts that come with it.

Cessation

Pyrography and airbrushing on wood.
21 Inches x 31 Inches

Cessation: ceasing, discontinuance, stoppage; either permanent or temporary.
-Oxford English Dictionary

At the water's edge of the white sandy shores that mark that limbo between Here and There. I long to fly with you. To call after you. I know I can't. Youth is fleeting but this is altogether too soon. One by your own hands and one by the unassumed accidental mistake of another. How many more doves are there? I now know three.

The sun set quickly after and brought clouds to a once blue sky. Rain and tears blend together.

In the New Testament the Holy Ghost is symbolized with the image of a dove representing his spirit body. I once had a dove. He was my best friend. I think about him every day. I felt it right to continue that symbolism and use the dove to depict souls that have moved on from this mortal existence.

2024

Quietus

Pyrography and airbrush on wood.
21 Inches x 31 Inches

Quietus: a release or respite from life; an ending of life, death.
-Oxford English Dictionary

It isn't any easier to grieve even when I had years to prepare.

The dead roses are the remnants of my grandma's home where she would host family gatherings. She loved roses. All flowers really. But she taught my mom how to care for roses and in turn my mom taught me. And although these roses have no color, red roses are symbols of Christ’s martyrdom. He died so that the resurrection could take place and we all could be made whole once again.

My grandpa kept doves a long time ago, before his dementia, before his dementia ultimately claimed his life. Every time doves come to my sister's backyard, she and her daughter and our mom like to say, “there's the mommy and daddy dove!”

These two women and child, my family, live together and survive together in an unsafe home. Once, on a particularly unsettling day, my sister felt the comfort of our grandma's spirit. By this time both grandparents had graduated from this life.

Shortly after my sister's experience with the deceased, two doves came to the backyard. My sister and mom exclaimed, “Look! The mommy and daddy dove are back.” But my niece said, “No. That's the grandma and grandpa dove.”

The two doves in this piece represent my maternal grandparents. I long for comfort from the other side of the Veil. Maybe it's there and I'm too busy or too distracted or even too dense to notice. Knowing them, they probably visit everyday.

2024

Artist Brianna Thaxton

Four Deaths